Okay, tell me you’re not so ecstatically happy about this that you could pee your pants! Come on, ladies . . . this is exciting! No more unwelcome, intrusive, buzzkill monthly visitor.

No more cramping bellies that make us double over in agony. No more swollen and tender breasts. No more oopsies and ruined frilly undies. No more emotional mood sw– oh wait . . . nevermind that last one. Anywho, no more periods. That’s right, no more of this bastard ↓

This isn’t mere menstrual cessation to suppress that time of the month because we’re going on vacation, we have a special occasion coming up or anything like that. No ladies, this is Per.Ma.Nent. Can I get a whoop whoop?!?