Forget about men and women being friends . . . some say women can’t be friends with one another. It’s a polarizing concept that leaves many wondering if there is some validity in the words. While it’s true that befriending other women can be difficult, it doesn’t always have to be that way. With a little effort, we can get along. Read on to find out how friendship between two women began with a pair of pants.
When you least expect it, friendship happens.
For me, it all began with a trip to Rome, a pop-up frigid rain downpour, an impromptu stop at an off-the-beaten-path boutique and a much-needed wardrobe change. I emerged from Stop Here (true story—it’s the name of the shop) wearing a new pair of insanely comfortable Italian-made wide leg stretch denim pants in favor of the shorts I previously wore.
On that day, the furthest thing from my mind was . . .
How many times have you heard this mantra, in one form or another, bandied about or whispered amongst frenemies in conspiratorial tones as they pick apart the new woman on the scene?
Is this our reality or is it simply nasty rumors run amok?
As a midlife woman, here’s what I believe: Forging bonds of friendship with other women becomes more difficult as we get older. However, some friendships happen by chance. In my case, the impetus was a pair of pants.
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Earlier this year, I was in Orlando attending the BlogHer17 conference. During a break from sessions, I was standing in front of a vendor’s booth at the Sponsor Expo when I heard a voice from behind me exclaim, “I want those pants!” Was I being robbed in broad daylight? Would I be sucker punched and stripped of the comfy trousers that perfectly hugged the contours of my butt? And where the hell was Jimmy Hoffa?
I turned around to see the smiling face of Kim, the woman with whom I shared an airport shuttle a couple of days earlier. On that day, we exchanged pleasantries as we made our way into the hotel, and it was then that she first jokingly made her intentions known: she wanted my pants!
This is how I came to meet and subsequently befriend this woman who radiated warmth, kindness and authenticity. Since meeting on that stifling hot day in Orlando, we’ve spoken several times, and we regularly giggle like schoolgirls while sharing messages back and forth on Facebook. I’m not ashamed to admit I welcome with open arms that sort of bonding in my life.
Lucky are the ones who can befriend a woman who is genuine, caring, and an all-around badass person. I consider myself the lucky one, and that woman, I’m happy to say, is Kim.
Women can’t be friends with other women? I beg to differ. For me, friendship began because of a few yards of soft, comfortable denim.
Who knew a pair of pants could be a catalyst for friendship? I guess that truly is…
The Power of the Pants.
I love to make connections, however, in a fast-paced world with that nasty four-letter word (BUSY) it is harder than ever to do this. We have every electronic device at our fingertips to make it easier to connect, globally, within seconds, unlike the snail mail years ago (letter writing).
With this being said, I have zero issues when I approach a complete stranger – usually a woman – to offer up a compliment on what she is wearing. Now I do have an ulterior motive here, I want to know where she is shopping. Shortcuts for me, so I do not spend hours on end searching especially in the big department stores. It’s too much for me!
In June of 2017 I decided to attend the BlogHer event, not knowing a single person, while treading into new territory for me: blogging. Riding the shuttle from the airport to the hotel, I chuckled to myself, all women on this shuttle and all very quiet. Arriving at my hotel a few of the women were also staying there probably were attending the BlogHer conference as well. This one woman was wearing a pair of pants that I wanted, right then and there…
Her name is Valerie, and I approached her all because of these stunning pants I had to have. She laughed and thanked me as she shared with me they were purchased in Europe. Well, I wasn’t going shopping anytime soon for these pants.
Over the next three days, I kept running into Valerie, and a business card exchange was accomplished. Little did I know what would develop. I just loved Valarie’s pants and had to have a pair of my own.
I made sure I connected with her after the event, so many people go to these conferences, and the thrill wears off afterward. There’s often NO follow through after all the collection of cards.
The power of these amazing pants has developed into a very nice friendship, professionally and personally. I love entering the unknown, and being open to amazing miracles like this over a pair of pants.
I am honored and excited to know Valerie, to plan future events to meet up at, to support her in her life, and to keep asking for the pants (LOL). But most near and dear to my heart, The Power of the Pants that is leading to a wonderful friendship.
You never know who you will meet, whose day you can change buy a simple comment, and what doors of connections will open. Think of this: God is playing chess, and we are his chess pieces. He moves and places us where we need to be. This is why I stay open with my heart, which isn’t always easy, to amazing opportunities for human connections.
The Power of the Pants=Humanity!
What are your thoughts? Do you believe women can be friends with other women? Have an interesting story of friendship? Let me hear about it in the comments below.