Lauren Rutten is a phenomenal woman. I say this from first-hand experience.
I met Lauren in June 2013 while on the island of Skiathos, Greece. We traveled by ferry to the breathtakingly beautiful island of Alonissos, Greece where we, along with eight other women (Tammy L. Coia included), spent 10 glorious days attending a women’s writing retreat.
Lauren, a spirited and caring 53 year old woman, is a wonderfully gifted writer who breathes life into her words. I could paint a picture for you of what midlife looks like through her eyes. Instead, I’ll let her words speak for themselves.
Lauren Rutten
So Lauren, what do you do for a living?
I’ve had a multi-dimensional career as a visual artist. For the past 30 years I’ve been self-employed as a professional photographer. That path has had its twists and turns over the years and I’ve felt fortunate for the many opportunities that have come as a result. I also have been a teaching artist since 2000. That aspect of my career has allowed me to share my art skills and experiences with students ranging from kindergarten through high school. Now I’m developing a business that offers workshops for people who want to bring more creativity into their lives through visual arts and writing.
Sounds like you’ve found your niche. Are you a ‘live to work’ person or do you work to live?
My work and life are so completely intertwined that I don’t consider it work. It’s more like this is my calling and I’ve been listening to the call since I was very young. I often say I have no idea what it’s like to have a job. I’ve never really been an employee in my adult life. I often pinch myself in wonder at how I get to do what I love to do and be paid for it. I feel very fortunate to have followed this passion when so many do not.
What keeps you busy outside of work?
I love hiking, yoga, swimming, doing sacred soul work with my women’s circles, dancing and chanting to sacred music, writing poetry, making art, going to art museums, watching movies, meditating and going for long drives on country roads.
I seriously love traveling and meeting new people. Taking time out and traveling around the world for many months was a huge gift I gave myself. It allowed me to fulfill a lifelong dream and reflect on what I want to continue to create for my life. It also challenged me to step beyond my comfort zone and experience things I had never done before. There’s nothing like setting out on a journey with no exact plans to teach you lessons on how to show up in life.
I’m very curious by nature and love getting to learn about other peoples’ lives. I think that’s been one of the great gifts of being a photographer for so many years. I’ve met the most wonderful people and I love having the opportunity to make images that reflect who they are and the uniqueness of their lives. There’ve also been so many blessings working as a teaching artist and inspiring kids and adults to discover ways of expressing themselves through art and writing. Whenever I get down or feel lost or impatient with myself, I just remind myself that I have no idea of the impact my work has on other peoples’ lives. I know we touch others’ hearts and make a difference just by showing up and caring.
What has been one of your biggest challenges in midlife and how did you overcome it?
My biggest challenges have been in completely changing my life, including a new marriage in 2012, selling a house in NJ and moving to the D.C. area, transitioning my career to a new state and new creative ventures. Basically, I overhauled just about everything in my life.
I’ve never looked at midlife as something to overcome. It’s a continuing movement through the changes and compromises, the questions that arise as the journey unfolds.
2014 was a challenging year with my husband going through treatment for leukemia just as he was preparing to leave a 24-year career as a military musician. Treatment and retirement are just about complete and we’re about to embark on a 6 month road trip with the intention of finding a new home someplace in a rural setting. It’s all about trust and opening and the struggles I have with my nature that wants to know how it’s all going to work out. I’m so fortunate to have close friends and a partner who offer emotional support as I face my fears and confusion. In the midst of all the changes over two and a half years, I’ve been going through the late stages of perimenopause. There have definitely been moments when I thought I was losing touch with who I. That’s had its gifts too.
So talk about your kids. Are you an empty nester?
I have one son and two stepdaughters. Combining families is one of the gifts I am so grateful to experience. I get such a full heart when I see our three kids hanging out together and how much they enjoy each other.
One daughter is still in college, my son graduates from college in a few weeks and the oldest daughter just finished her first year out in the working world.
How did you approach and handle the transition from full house to empty house?
As we embark on this search for our new home, my husband and I have shared with our kids that they will always have a home to come back to. We both daydream about having our kids come visit when they become parents and having a big room for them where grandkids can camp out together.
Some see midlife as a time for reflection and reinvention. Have you reinvented yourself in midlife?
My life is currently a construction zone. When I returned from traveling around the world for 8 months in 2013, I realized that everything I had done to build my life was being dismantled and reconfigured. I spent the better part of 2014 wondering what I wanted to do with my work life and my art. Letting go of my identity as a photographer and claiming Artist and Writer and Workshop Facilitator as the primary focus are currently the focus of my reinvention. I’m not completely disconnecting with my photographer title but giving more emphasis to developing these other paths to see what will unfold in this next period of life. My hope is to show my art in galleries and lead creative workshops that help people to reconnect and nourish their creative spirit.* * *
Lauren is rockin’ midlife on her own terms. She makes life work for her, not the other way around. If you’re struggling with midlife, take Lauren’s words of encouragement to heart.
You know that thing you’ve been yearning to do all these years…go ahead and do it now. Don’t wait. Take the leap of faith; risk not knowing if it will all work out; just go for it. Don’t let your dreams sit on the shelf collecting any more dust. You can never predict what glorious unfolding will occur and how it might awaken parts of you that need to breathe and expand.
Also, be kind to yourself. Be your own best friend. Give yourself lots of pats on the back for all the goodness that you are. Don’t withhold the love for yourself. It’s the best medicine I’ve taken for quieting my inner critic.
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You can find Lauren and her many endeavors on the web:
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Artist. Explorer. Adventuress. Inquisitive. Wife. Mother. Friend.
This describes the Lauren that I know; but she’s more than this. She is a hotbed of talent bursting at the seams. She expresses herself in many ways … and they’re all fabulous.
When it comes to Lauren Rutten, this is what midlife looks like.
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If you believe you or someone you know should be featured in “This is What Midlife Looks Like,” please don’t hesitate to contact me and let me know.
